Yesterday morning I lay awake, in the wee hours of the morning, thinking. It was actually rather nice because lately I have felt rather deficient in the thinking dept. My brain cells have just seemed like inaccessible, unstimulated, neglected, depleted, little shadows of their former selves. Generally speaking, I like to think, so this has been very frustrating. Anyhow, I got thinking about measurements. As I see it, there are 2 basic kinds in this world; true measurements and, what I call, subjective measurements. Now we are all quite familiar with true measurements, things that we learn in math like cm, in, ft, km, oz, lbs, etc……. We learn them in school and there is always a way for us to check our measurements; whether that be a ruler or a scale. There is a universal, unchanging standard for all of these measurements and, though you can try to be dishonest with your measurements, they can be checked and held up to the universal standard if need be. Ok, you’re probably thinking, that was nothing to keep you awake in the wee hours, but the next part is what had my mind spinning. Subjective measurements. Measurements that we (at least some of us) obsess over and apply more frequently in our lives than true measurements! Measurements that can’t be held up to an unchanging standard but are determined by standards of our own making, usually another person or an ideal. Things like ideal weight, size, and height, things like talents, abilities, and accomplishments, etc….. I think these things vary from person to person. I know people that you can’t hold a conversation with without weight or size entering into the conversation, others that must talk about their accomplishments and talents or their plans in that direction. Often these conversations are strewn with references to where they got their idealistic standard, but not always. I find that I read blogs and books, talk with people, etc… and come away with another measurement. My scale looks something like this:
FAIL--------------------Making Progress-----------------Meets Standard
90% or so of my measurements end up in the FAIL category. I never seem to meet the standards that I put in place for myself or that I feel others are putting in place for me. There are a small percentage that I can see I am making progress in, but not many. Some of this probably has to do with my natural bent, I know others who (no matter what the standard) feel that they meet and exceed standard every time. I don’t think there are many of them though. Now, one of the problems with subjective measurement is that it is just that, subjective. Today the standard for any given thing might be blog “a”, tomorrow book “b”, and the next day a neighbor. I could talk about the struggles that other people have but that really isn’t the point, it is just less personal and thus safer. Personally I struggle with standards in parenting, home educating, music, art, organizational skills, and such as that. I read books and set a standard for my home educating, later I read/hear what parent “a” is doing for their kids and the things they are achieving at home and I measure myself to that and fail, or I go back and remeasure to my original standard and fail. I end up spending so much time measuring to various standards (or being measured by those around me) that I don’t have time to make progress. It is a vicious cycle. So, as I lay there mulling all this over, I “hear” a whisper that said “what should your standard be?” Um, excuse me? “Should your standard be others? or is your standard Christ and your method of achieving that found in the Bible?” Oh, right…….. but what about the particulars, I mean, you know, Christ didn’t exactly home school and he never really talked about what your musical and artistic abilities *should* be, and well, you know, things like that………… “Are those your priorities? The things that others do? Or will you choose Christ as the standard and let him take care of those things?”
Part of the problem with subjective measurements is that they don’t take anything into consideration. When I measure and fail, that measurement did not take into account any of the things that play into that standard…… health problems, financial situation, strengths and weaknesses, etc…. Christ made me and knows me intimately, he lovingly takes into account my situation, in fact he uses my situation to help me reach the standard. Impossible for all but him! It’s not that ideals, dreams, and goals are bad, it’s just that they shouldn’t be our focus. If Christ is priority then the # on the scale, the reading level of my child, how many or how well I can play musical instruments, my photography skills, etc….. don’t matter. They will just be the extras, the non-priority items that may or may not come into play in my life and because of this I can have joy! Oh, blessed happy thought!!! Joy, no more big, fat, FAILS staring me in the face at every turn, just contentment in Christ. So, my goal is to focus more on Christ and less on the temporary, subjective measurements……
